Books Recommended by Changes Parents

Parenting Teens with Love and Logic
by Jim Fay and Foster Cline.
Excellent source for teaching parents how to prepare adolescents for responsible adulthood in the face of drugs, peer pressure, violence, law-breaking, etc.

Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
by Susan Forward, Ph.D. with Donna Frazier. Harper Paperbacks. 250p.
Emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets.

Grown-up Children Who Won’t Grow Up
by Larry V. Stockman and Cynthia S. Graves. 1994. Prima Publishing, Rocklin, CA. 237p.
Excellent source for co-dependent parents with “older adolescents.”

Taking Charge: Caring Discipline That Works At Home
and At School

by JoAnne Nordling. Sibyl Publications. 303p.
A well-designed guide to setting healthy limits and putting yourself back in charge without undermining the child’s sense of security and self-worth.

The Co-Dependent Parent: Free Yourself by Freeing Your Child
by Barbara Cottman Becnel. 1991. Harper, San Francisco. 260p.
Excellent source for co-dependency issues in parenting. Examines the emotional side of “letting go.”

An Owner’s Guide to Parenting Teenagers: A Step-By-Step, Solution-Focused Approach to Raising Adolescents
Without Losing Your Mind

by Pat James Baxter and Cynthia Dawson Naff. 1997. Real Life Press. 212p.
Lots of common sense, natural consequences for acting-out behaviors, probably more applicable for younger adolescents. Baxter and Naff advocate change by the parent as the first step to “getting unstuck.”


For Parents of Pre-teens

Getting to Calm: Cool-headed strategies for parenting
tweens and teens

by Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D. and Jennifer Wyatt, Ph.D. ParentMap. 304p.
Parenting a teenager is tougher than ever, but new brain research offers new insight into the best way to connect with teens. With humor, wisdom and a deep understanding of the teenaged brain, noted teen expert Dr. Laura Kastner shows parents how to stay calm and cool-headed while dealing with hot-button issues everything from rude attitude and lying to sex and substance use — with clear, easy-to-follow suggestions for setting limits while maintaining a close and loving relationship.